I don’t actually recall when I ceased to be ‘quite cool Mum’ and became the ‘Old Goat’ indoors who regularly embarrasses by innocently pleading ignorant. The generation ‘gap’ between my offspring’s 18 and 20 years and my rapidly approaching 45 years is widening faster than the average waistline of the queue at Krispy Kreme. I really think I’m quite young at heart. Anyone who has had Xbox One and PS3 and an electronic drumkit as Christmas gifts in recent years is clearly not one for Scholl sandals and a Women’s Institute membership quite yet.
The most recent incident of elderly induced ignorance involved ‘Selfies.’ Of course I know what one is! I just cannot get my head around WHY you would want to do this. I understand why you may want to take a photograph of yourself visiting somewhere amazing. However, if you haven’t visited alone then get someone else to take it and avoid the weird facial expression which occurs when outstretching your arm and clicking. A recent visit to central London unsurfaced an even weirder invention and being mid forties I was unaware of the ‘selfie stick’. Hundreds of foreign visitors, are wandering the sights of London in small groups holding aloft a metal pole upon which they have secured an iPhone! After witnessing a dozen groups within ten minutes I was spitting feathers. Not only did they look ridiculous but they felt the need to stop right in the middle of the pavement every couple of feet to take another selfie.
Right behind these guys in the irritation stakes are ‘tablet takers’. Why on earth would you wish to parade your preciously expensive tablet, Apple or otherwise around an inner city, regularly stopping and holding the large screen aloft to take souvenir photographs? Even more surprising is they are rarely in protective covers and completely open to the elements. This is Great Britain and we are a lovely friendly nation but we DO have regular rain and we unfortunately DO have a few naughty persons who may wish to swipe and run away with your prized tablet.
Leaving the tourists alone for a few minutes…. (I appreciate you coming here as you are good for our economy and I love how you think our country is so small we must all know each other!).
My two are always saying they have ‘spoken’ to this friend or another. I have since discovered that this does not involve any form of audible conversation and merely refers to typing a text message/WhatsApp message/Facebook message. They have contract phones with unlimited minutes and yet they never ever actually speak to each other! Is it me? When I was a teenager you had to beg your parents to use the phone and then they repeatedly tapped their wrist and rolled their eyebrows to hurry you up and free up the line.
The eldest reached 20 this week and when I asked if he would like me to drive and visit him at Uni, the reply was ‘oh Mum I’m 20, birthdays hardly mean anything now!’ – scoffing silently I wished I had kept the receipts for the clearly unnecessary gifts I had purchased. I took the opportunity to make it clear that no matter how old I get, I LOVE gifts!
This unfashionable old goat had better bring this rant to a close. There is nothing more uncool than an older person criticising the current trends and cult followings of gadgets and technology. Thank goodness this is anonymous. I may not like or understand Facebook’s existence but surely ‘blogging’ has some sort of kudos? Maybe given my children’s penchant for the typed word rather than audible conversation, I should just communicate with them via a blog?
I’d call it, ‘Look Who’s Typing’.